Love conquers most.

While on the quest for love, albeit online, I was messaged by a seemingly nice guy.  We chatted for a little over a week, all the while asking myself, "is he for real?"  I dug deeper finding out more about him; he lived out of state, so it was definitely a no-go...  Ok, so here's what I'm getting to...when I told him that Connecticut was too far to drive to, he asked me...and I quote (and no, I'm not lying)..."Is your heart worth the travel?"  At this point I simultaneously choked on my tongue and vomited in my mouth, while trying not to wet myself laughing.  Next.

Faster than your average Mike.

Today I encountered a rude little bastard of a man.  He came in to pick up money someone had transferred him from Egypt, and as usual, the computer we use for this takes a while to dial up and connect.  So while this was connecting, I walked 3 feet to get a tissue and blow my nose.  Just as the tissue reaches my nose, he stops screaming in Arabic on his cell phone and says to me in a snotty tone, "Can you be quick with this, I have stuff to do."  Ridiculous!  I looked him in the face, as I blew my nose and said "uhh, I can go as quick as the computer," then turned to my coworker and said in a not-so-quiet voice, "I guess I can't blow my fucking nose anymore...unless i do it quickly!"  He was in such a hurry, he tried to get out the in door.  Fail.
[who asked you?]

Excuse me, have we met?

Randomly, strangers...mainly creepers have been striking up conversations with me.  One asked me today how work was going, stared at me for a few minutes, then discussed the currency conversion of USD into money in Jordan.  Why do people feel the need to be awkward and talk to strangers?  Is it just being friendly, or nosey?  In any case...[who asked you?]

Quit stealing my air!

Driving down the highway this afternoon with an unnamed family member, I realized that people's involuntary actions really annoy me.  When I can hear someone breathing, especially nose whistling, it makes me feel like I'm suffocating.  My lungs tense up and I have to close my eyes and relax.  It's awful.  


What drives you crazy?....just askin'.

Funny old people.

Witnessed today, and almost wet myself.  :)

Old Lady:  "yeah, I got my flu shot, no problem."

Old Man:  "god it hurt!"

Old Lady:  "quit your whining!...He's such a sissy!!"

Old Man:  "Ahh, Shut up!"

Imagine wanting your favorite thing in the world, and finding out you can get it at your local grocery store!  This is how old people view getting a flu shot.  They get so excited and line up for it, as if it's a shot of youth serum or felix felicis.  Haha.  I understand not wanting to get the cold that kills you, but come on, get a grip.

Come one, come all!

Nobody asked me, but it's important.  Listen up!  This coming weekend, October 10th-11th, is the National Equality March in Washington D.C.  Come on out, march, be a part of history, and help change the lives and rights of good people!  For more info, go to www.nationalequalitymarch.com.

It's not always sunny in Podunk.

The last time I went camping, my friends and I ventured into a somewhat tiny, two street town for lunch.  We found a diner that had a general store attached and figured we'd browse.  They had crafts and hunting supplies and country stuff, but way over by the door was a misplaced rack of brightly colored 80's-esque sunglasses.  I picked up a yellow pair and a green pair and made my way to the register to pay, asking the woman to cut off the tags.  She looked down at the glasses, then up at me and said in a most disapproving tone, "Oh, you're gonna wear these."  I paid, put on my new yellow sunglasses and left.  Unbelievable.   [who asked you?]

Public safety officer?

At work today, a coworker of mine was buying her usual pack of cigarettes, when an old screech owl of a woman interjected, "You're killing yourself!  Don't you people know these are terrible?  You're dirtying the air!"  Without missing a beat, my coworker said, "So is your breath," and walked away, pack in hand.  [who asked you?]